Monday, September 19, 2011

Dreams

I had such a weird dream last night that I have to get it on paper (screen) before I forget it.

In the dream, I drove somewhere to visit Diane, Lucha, & Tyler. I was so excited to see them. It was like most dreams...they lived in Chicago yet they really didn't. The house/business was the same yet it really wasn't. Some things were familiar, some weren't.  The place they lived was rural instead of in the city....lots of trees, no neighbors, lots of grass.
 I drove up and Diane and Lucha came out to greet me. Now here's the really weird thing....Lucha had bright pink & green tortoise-shell (like a cat) markings on her. I was surprised to see how bright they were...almost neon......because when she'd been my foster her green and pink markings had been very pale. In the dream, it seemed completely natural that she was marked this way, and I commented that she must be super healthy for them to be so bright. (I told you this dream was weird!)

Diane and I went inside her house to have coffee and when I sat down Lucha jumped right up on my lap and looked at me very intently. I told Diane,  "I think she really & truly remembers me, even though it's been years since we've seen each other!" I remember feeling very happy that Lucha remembered me as I hugged her and fussed over her.

I can remember wanting to reach across the table where we were having coffee to take Diane's hand and tell her everything that was pent up inside of me about Muddy Paws and the deaths, but I just couldn't quite bring myself to do it. I was too afraid that I would start to cry or get angry.

In the dream at this point, it was 12:50 p.m. and Diane said that Tyler would be getting home at 1:00...the school bus dropped him off at the end of their rural driveway. I stayed long enough to see Tyler walking up the driveway and as he got closer I realized that I didn't recognize him. It was not the same child that I knew before.

and then, I either woke up or switched to my other weird dream that I had last night.

Not sure what it all means, or if it means anything at all.

Friday, September 9, 2011

To all of you who care about animals....

Reading the paper this morning....article about several people in New York who lost friends in the 9/11 attack. They get together once a month to remember their friends, and they give to various foundations established to honor the victims.

Here's a small portion of the article: 
"Forgetting has always been my biggest worry, not being able to remember those people. And it happens. Life moves on," Joe says. He paraphrases the Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal on his duty to the dead: "When I face those people on my day, I want them to know I didn't forget."

I will never forget Lucha nor all the others who died at Muddy Paws. I already give to animals by contributions of money and fostering.

Will you do the same? If you can't foster, then TODAY, give $20 or whatever you can afford, to the nearest rescue.

Educate people to always adopt, never buy.

Don't let your pets reproduce.

If you even SUSPECT cruelty to an animal, report it, and FOLLOW UP. Make sure it is properly investigated and prosecuted.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Do I hate Diane?

Yesterday, Diane Eldrup's attorney accused me of having no compassion. Sorry, Mr. Curnyn, but you don't know me.
Yes, I do have compassion for Diane.

Several people have asked me over the last several days if I hate Diane for what she did. And I've always answered that I don't hate Diane but I hate what she did.

Seems like a pat answer doesn't it? A little PollyAnna-ish?

Yes, it does, and I've really done some thinking about this tonight while waiting for the verdict.

I do hate what Diane did. I hate anything to do with the suffering of children, animals, anything and anybody. Was Diane out of her head when she did systematically starved these animals to death?
She must have been....how else could someone do this?

But again, am I being a bit naive? Of course people are intentionally cruel every day, to every kind of living thing. Am I just trying to say the right thing?

As those 48 GUILTYs were read tonight, I felt a sense of justice for the dogs that died...and let's not forget that approximately 35 dogs died at Muddy Paws, not just the 18 she was charged with. But I also felt the pain that would strike a mother's heart as each GUILTY made it more real that she would not be able to see her child for many years while she was in prison.

So, is it hate I feel?
No.
I just feel sorry. Sorry for Diane. Sorry for what she did. And so so sorry for her little boy.

GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES

it's after 11 and I'm finally back at the hotel. The verdict came in just before 10 tonight: Guilty on all charges.
She was charged with 3 things for each of the 18 dogs: animal cruelty (a misdemeanor), aggravated animal cruelty (a felony) and aggravated animal torture (also a felony). Every GUILTY was read off for each of the 18 dogs.....we heard GUILTY 54 times, one right after the other.

At last, these poor babies can truly rest in peace. They are rejoicing tonight at Rainbow Bridge that  the 12 members of the jury recognized that their lives were worth something, that they were living feeling beings, not "just a dog".

so many animal advocates were there tonight.....the spectators were about 2/3 animal advocates (rescuers, animal control wardens, humane investigators) and 1/3 press. This is a huge case decision....what a statement this makes about the treatment of animals. These dogs suffered horribly and for a very long time. I'm not going to go into details here right now, but I finally ate my first meal of the week tonight. The testimony (and remember, I didn't look at the pictures or the videos) has made me so sick, my stomach clenched into a knot, that breakfast has been coffee, lunch has been milk, and supper ordered but only picked at. Teri, thank you for taking me to supper.

Sentencing has been scheduled for Oct. 18. I hope to come back for that. During sentencing, the prosecution will be able to have witnesses testify to things like identifying before and after pictures of the dogs, etc. That will really be Lucha's day in court.

verdict may be close

sorry to anyone who has been trying to reach me. trial concluded at 5:30, and jury sent to deliberations at 6:00. i have ZERO cell phone reception within 3 blocks of this courthouse!!!!

 we're all back at the court room...no laptops allowed in courtroom, so I'm right outside the door. jury has asked a question of the judge, which some believe to be a sign that a verdict is close, and in fact may be reached this evening. It's 8:17 p.m. stay tuned.

cathartic afternoon

Both the defense and the prosecution have rested now....both sides are conferring with the judge about what instructions will be given to the jury. 

To the amazement of all, the defense put Diane on the stand. The prosecution simply ate her alive, pounding away at her by showing pictures of dead dogs and asking her What was this dog's name? When did it die? to which she softly and tearfully responded, "I don't know."

over and over and over.

until suddenly the prosecution showed a picture of a few bones laying outside her son's bedroom and asked "Isn't this Lucha, Ms. Eldrup?"

I put my glasses back on at the point. I've taken them off whenever pictures and videos of the death & destruction at Muddy Paws have been shown, but at that point, I put them on. I wanted & needed to see what was left of Lucha.
So I looked.

You couldn't tell that a dog's body had disintegrated in that spot....there was nothing really there. Kim had told me that months ago, but for some reason I needed to look.

Diane, sobbing on the stand, said that Lucha had been having seizures and had died in her arms. I just lost it at that point. oh, god, I hope that it's true. I hope that Lucha did not die of starvation and neglect like all the others. I hope she died in the arms of someone she loved.

Bone marrow

 This morning I learned way more about canine bone marrow than I ever wanted to know. According to today's 2nd witness, Dr. Douglas Lymon, a board-certified veterinarian pathologist, a normal healthy dog's bone marrow is 60 % fat. The order in which a starving dog uses up its stores of fat is this:

subcutaneous fat tissues
abdominal fat
muscle tissue
mandibular muscles (jaw)
skeletal musles
legs
heart
nervous system
ocular fat pads (causing eyes to sink into head)

and finally at the end stage, impending death, the bone marrow.


Dr. Lymon examined 3 dogs from Muddy Paws and performed the autopsy. I'm sorry, I guess "necropsy" is the correct term for an animal, but I prefer autopsy, because what the doctors have described as the procedure is so similar to a human autopsy (I'm a Patricia Cornwell fan).


Dr. Lymon's findings:
Room 15 Animal # 10: pitbull/shepherd mix weighed 18 lbs at autopsy, should have weighed 30-35 lbs. This dog had inanimate material in its stomach and intestines. (The dog was eating its empty food and water bowls!) Bone marrow fat % was .087% rather than the normal 60%.

Room 15 Animal #7: 13.5 lbs at autopsy, should have weighed 20 lbs. very very thin. no internal abnormalities upon examination. rear dew claws long & curled. feet encrusted with feces. 1.8% bone marrow fat rather than normal 60%.

Room 10 Animal #13:  5 lbs. on autopsy, should have weighed 7 lbs.


Cause of death of each animal: long term calorie deprivation. Starvation was cause of death for all 3 dogs I examined.

A veterinarian testifies

Dr. Ned Bartlett of Winthrop Animal Hospital testified this morning. He performed the necropsies (autopsies) of the 3 dogs that Charlie Burleson took to him on Dec. 30. Dr. B did a wonderful job testifying. His descriptions of what those 3 dogs should have weighed, based on their breed and bone structures were:

Dog tagged Room 15 Animal 8: weighed 17.9 lbs at autopsy. It was a female German Shepherd mix, approx. 5 years old. The dog should have weighed approx. 45 - 50 lbs.

Dog tagged Room 15 animal 9:  female German Shepherd/lab mix, approx. 5 years old. Whe weighed 11.8 lbs. at autopsy. She should have weighed approx. 30 lbs.

Dog tagged Room 9 Animal 2: German Shepherd/lab mix, male, approx 7-8 years of age. weight at autopsy 23.8 lbs.  Should have weighed approx. 60 lbs.

Once again, I simply took off my glasses and kept my head down when the pictures were shown. A woman sitting in front of was crying....she eventually had to leave court because she was so upset.


When the defense attorney cross-examines the prosecution's witnesses, he stumbles and stutters around, asks stupid pointless questions, searches his papers both at the podium and at the defense table trying to figure out what to ask. The witnesses consistently & expertly firmly reply to the defense's questions in such a manner that it is very clear that they, the witnesses, know exactly what they're talking about.

Here's an example:

Curnynm, defense lawyer, to Dr. Bartlett: You didn't cut open the heart of this dog during autopsy, did you, Dr. Bartlett.

Dr. B:  YES I DID. I cut open the heart to examine it for heartworms and the heart was NOT damaged sufficiently to have caused death

time to head back in:

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

More thank yous

I started that last post telling people thank you and got off track, so I'll do some more thank yous....

the veterinarian Dr. Shahid Amin....thank you for your testimony which clearly outlined your examinations of the 4 surviving dogs. Why did Curnyn think that on cross he was going to show that the dogs had parasites and/or heartworm??? You were great refuting his implied reasons for their condition. My favorite quote of yours was directed at Curnyn when he questioned you about parasites:  "I can tell whether a dog has worms or is starved!"
Thank you, Dr. Amin.

Officer William Dukobsky, a patrolman for Deer Park police. You made it very clear that you could remember things quite accurately! Curnyn was insulting in his questions to you on cross and you handled him well.

Dana Deutsch, animal advocate and owner of Ralphie's Place Rescue. Thank you for your testimony and your compassion for the animals who died at Muddy Paws. You going there to help with the investigation and your transporting of 3 bodies for necropsy was brave and humane. Curnyn's disrespectful questioning of whether you were a veterinarian was uncalled for and showed him for the ass he is. You handled yourself well today and made all of us in rescue proud. Thank you!

Thanks again to Ricki & Beth who are taking care of the Robinson personal zoo of 6 chihuahuas and 4 cats while I'm 500 miles away. Two of those cats are Beth's adopted sons, Hendrix & Marley! Hi, Boys!
Thanks to my friends who have sent words of encouragement and comfort. Thanks to my other 2 daughters who besides adopting, work for rescue in their respective cities of KC and Seattle. I'm so proud of what you do and how much you care. Be sure to give all of my furry grandchildren an extra kiss tonight from me. They are so lucky to have you and the animal-loving husbands that you have.

Special thanks and love to my chihuahua CocoBolo Pantalones, who introduced me to the wonderful breed and inspired such a love for them that our family became involved with the rescue of chihuahuas.

Lucha, your name was heard aloud in court today....it validated and affirmed your existence on this earth. I know I'll see you again, sweetheart.

I met so many incredible people today (and one jerk)

First of all, I must commend the prosecution team of Michael Mermel, Suzanne Willett and Rachel Rubles Eschbach... they were fantastic in court today.While John Curnyn, Eldrup's defense attorney, made no friends with the spectators, judge, or jury because of his whiny outbursts, the prosecution moved smoothly and confidently through their witnesses and testimony. Most of the time Curnyn seemed unsure of what he even wanted to ask the witnesses on cross.


However, the person in all of this who will have my undying admiration and gratefulness is Kim Clark, an investigator with Mermel's office. Kim has stayed in touch with me by phone and email through the long process of me trying to find Lucha. Kim was the person who called me on a Sunday afternoon in April to tell me that Lucha's remains and microchip had been found outside the back door of Muddy Paws. She listened to me cry and comforted me as best she could. She did not want me to hear about Lucha any other way. For her unending kindness to me, I will always be thankful. Kim was also the dynamo who did so much investigation for this case, tracked down witnesses, and put so many pieces together. She's had a tough gruesome job to do with this case, but she did it thoroughly, completely, and with compassion. Kim, I admire you so much. THANK YOU.


To Cindy Williams, the Lake County Animal Control Officer who narrated the hour long video this morning...what a strong woman you are, Cindy. I couldn't watch the video, but your narration and the repeated phrases "another dead dog" and "empty food and water bowls in the kennel" were resounding in everyone's head in that courtroom. 


Charlie Burleson, what a witness you were. Your strength, compassion, and intelligence was so obvious...Curnyn was outmatched when you were sworn in! Thank you for the hug. You knew and cared who Lucha was. That moves me. 


One thing that really struck me today during Cindy's narration of the video was the kennel floors were a foot deep in feces and that their nails were long and curled under. The nails of starving dogs don't grow very much and how could they grow enough to curl under before they died of starvation? Another question: how did so much dog shit accumulate from dogs who were not being fed??? Obviously Diane had had these dogs locked up for a long time and was feeding them for quite awhile if they could shit that much. She made them live in their own filth for months before she quit feeding them. 


Another thing that occurred to me today is what Saundra Hensel, a friend from Chihuahua Rescue & Transport who used to live in Chicago. She was friends with Diane, and told me once that Diane had offered to teach her to grind nails. It's not an easy grooming process to learn, so she told Saundra that she'd teach her on Jett, the Eldrup's rottie, and then she'd teach her how to do her (Saundra) own chihuahua's nail. 


HOLD ON A MINUTE HERE....a groomer, Diane, who had offered to teach someone to grind nails (rather than just cut them which leaves them sharp and scratchy), let these dogs grow nails that curled under and into their paws???? Just one more sign of her losing all sense of right from wrong.

 

a quick post while I eat dinner...

i'm having a quick dinner, and then I'm going to visit Scott, who adopted Toula a couple of years ago. He also has Jake the chi, so I am going to get myself some chihuahua healing before blogging about today's court happenings. I need some snuggly dog kisses to heal the horribleness of what I heard in court today.

afternoon break

the prosecution team continues to do an excellent job of presenting evidence and witness after witness. The defense, on cross examination, only asks a few weak questions, and then has no further questions. I can't say that I think much of her defense attorney....so many long pauses in his questioning, like he doesn't know what to ask next, verbal stumbling....he's a slope-shouldered man in a baggy brown suit, unshaven, beady little eyes....he looks like the stereotypical "bad guy" lawyer of Hollywood.

break for lunch, Wed. Sept. 7

what incredible testimony from Cindy Williams this morning...she calmly and matter of factly narrated over an hour of video that she took at Muddy Paws on the day that it was revealed as a death camp.

she was very strong....Cindy is an animal control office with Lake County. I can imagine she's seen some horrible things but this must top them all.

i took off my glasses so that I could not see the video...I just couldn't bear to watch, but her narration described it fully for me. I'll write more about it later, but the thing that horrified me the most was that she identified jugs of water and cans of unopened dog food on a shelf above the kennels where the dogs died a horrible death by starvation in their kennels. There were also pictures and video of unopened sacks of dog food stacked in the kitchen.

this makes it so much worse for me....there was food and water there, and they died looking at what they needed. THAT is torture.

after court recessed for lunch, Diane remained at the defense table. Her lawyer was talking to the court reporter. I asked Michael Mermel, the prosecutor, if I was allowed to speak to Diane. He said that he could not advise me one way or another, just that as a member of the public I had the right to speak to whomever I wished.

so, I stood behind Diane, behind the low wooden half-wall barrier between the court and the spectator area, and said "Diane?" She was still seated and she turned to look at me. I asked her, "Do you remember me?" and she said' "Yes, I do."

I then asked her, "How did Lucha die? I need to know." and she immediately called her lawyer's first name, whatever it is, and he came over and told me to leave his client alone.

I told him, "I just want to ask Diane one question, that's all I want. I just want to know how Lucha died, I want to know that she did not suffer."

He told me to get out of the courtroom, that he would speak to me in the hall. I told him' "You're not the person I want to talk to. I want to talk to Diane."

He is an extremely rude and insensitive man....he started asking me about if I was Friend2Animals on the Daily Herald website, and I said that yes, I was. He told me how uncaring and uncompassionate I was about
Diane.His tone was extremely snotty, rude, and dismissive.

I told him on the contrary, I am an extremely caring and compassionate person, that I care about all living things.

He got angry and said, "Do you realize that if convicted, Diane could go to prison and not be able to see her son?"
I replied, "Yes, I know that. "
he then asked, "So why would you want her to not be able to see her son? that's not very compassionate." in a strident tone.

I said, "I'm a mother of 3, Mr. Curnyn' and I've made sure that I didn't do anything that would cause me to be taken away from my children and put in prison."


He stomped off at that point, ridiculing me to others whom I suppose are Diane's friends and/or family.

the trial resumes at 1:30. I'm going to try and eat something and get some fresh air.

brief recess in an explosive morning in court

i'm at the trial, this is hurried so excuse typing errors.....let's just say who needs coffee when the judge is yelling at the defense within the first couple of sentences of the defense's opeing statement.

i can't watch the video that is being narrated by the animal control office who filmed the scene.....hearing it is bad enough. so much death, so much cruelty. it
s too awful for words.

an elderly woman whispered i'm going to through uip and using her cane rushed out of court, gagging, as quicdkly as she could. defense immediately asked for a mistrial. unbelieveable.


time to go back in.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

meanwhile, back at the motel

I had just settled into my seat in the courtroom this morning when Kim Clark of the prosecutors office asked me to come outside the courtroom with her. They are considering having me testify as a witness for the prosecution, and so I cannot be present during either the jury selection or the actual trial. I can only be in the courtroom when I testify. I guess it really is like the tv shows about lawyers.

So, I'm back at the hotel doing some reading, writing, and knitting. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to grab a quick nap? Kim will let me know as soon as they know for sure if I'll be testifying. Meanwhile, I've written the victim impact statement so that I can tweak it over the next couple of days.

Thank you to Brenda for the supportive voice mail you left this morning. I'm strong and ready to do whatever I need to do to ensure justice for the many animals who suffered and died at Muddy Paws.

Thank you to Rick & Beth for holding down the fort while I'.m gone. Give my Cokie Pants girl extra hugs and kisses from me....I know she misses me, but she understands that momma is off helping other dogs who are not as fortunate as she again.

Thank you to Brigitte, Liz, Carol, and all my friends who have put up with my tears and agonized musings and rhetorical questions during the last 9 months. I should thank my 3 daughters here and Rick again for having to listen to me, too.

10 minute break in jury selection

I've met Claudia Lenart of The Patch and Kim Clark of the prosecutor's office. I also saw Diane walk past me with her face averted from me. Is she ashamed?

I'll be going in to the courtroom when selection resumes in a few minutes' I can't use my laptop in there, but will be scribbling notes by hand so I can post later. It looks at this point that jury selection could take all day. Only 3 or 4 have been chosen so far. I supposed that potential jurors have some pretty strong feelings about the case, or have read & seen so many news reports about it that they can't be impartial.

I know that I certainly can't be impartial!

stay tuned.....

Tuesday morning

I'm headed to the courthouse in a few minutes. I talked to a couple of people on the phone this morning, and no one knows if the general public is allowed to watch juror selection. The last person I spoke with said to go to the courtroom and ask the deputy stationed outside the door, so I.m headed over there to do just that.

If I can't watch jury selection, at least I'll learn my way around the courthouse!

If jury selection is completed this morning then the trial could start this afternoon.

I didn't get much sleep last night....bed was comfortable, had my own pillow from home, and god knows I was tired after that 10 hour drive, but too much in my head. It occurs to me that I'm here as several different people all rolled into one old slightly overweight woman....there's the little girl who's father & brother intimidated, controlled, and frightened her by brutally killing her pets in front of her.

There's also the adult woman who has, according to some people, loved her pets way too much, and has gone overboard in her attachment to them.

There's also the adult woman who became involved in rescue and fostering, which also has caused some people to say I'm a little nuts.

And finally, I'm here as Lucha's momma, the momma who took her in and watched her sigh with happiness each night as she settled in next to my hubby in bed, her head on his pillow, the covers pulled up to her neck. I'm here as the momma who 9 months later sat on a curb in a parking lot outside the Chicago Pet Expo and cried and hugged her goodbye because she was going to her forever home with Diane Eldrup and her little boy. The tears were only for me, because I become attached to every one of my fosters and I was going to miss this chubby blonde girl. I was so happy that she had found a wonderful home, and would have her very own kid....she loved children, which is not common with chihuahuas. How was I to know that 4 years later her wonderful home would turn into a nightmare of death and suffering?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Finally!

After an extremely long drive, I'm finally in Chicago. bumper to bumper traffic at 5 mph for miles and miles through the Wisconsin Dells on I-90.
 I'll be calling the courthouse tomorrow morning to make sure of what I can sit in on. I hope to be a spectator at the jury selection.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Sunday evening, Sept. 4, Getting ready to leave tomorrow

So many things running through my head tonight...all of the things I need to remember to take....camera, GPS, the signs I made for the demonstrations outside the courthouse, pictures of Lucha, copies of emails, laptop, the list is endless.

I tried to take a nap this afternoon, but wasn't sleepy once I laid down. Got back up to do more laundry so I could pack but then I was tired again. I need a good night's sleep so I can drive 9 hours tomorrow!

Lucha is constantly in my thoughts....that poor girl, she loved Diane and trusted her and she got death by starvation in return. My beautiful chunky blonde Mrs. Looshers. I should have kept you here with me forever, Lucha. I'm so sorry....I thought you were going to a wonderful home, and I think you had a wonderful home for awhile. How long did you suffer, Lucha, wondering when  your momma was going to come back and feed you? Were you cold and thirsty? How long did you suffer?