I'll be leaving Monday morning, Oct. 17, for Chicago and the sentencing hearing for Diane Eldrup, which will be at the Lake County Courthouse in Waukegan IL. I will finally get to say what is on my heart and mind...hope I can get through it without crying or losing it altogether. I just have to remember that this is in honor & memory of all the dogs who died at Muddy Paws....they deserve a voice in this. Crying will only take away from the impact of my words. This one is for you Lucha, Nina, Beatrice, and the countless others who suffered and died.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Dreams
I had such a weird dream last night that I have to get it on paper (screen) before I forget it.
In the dream, I drove somewhere to visit Diane, Lucha, & Tyler. I was so excited to see them. It was like most dreams...they lived in Chicago yet they really didn't. The house/business was the same yet it really wasn't. Some things were familiar, some weren't. The place they lived was rural instead of in the city....lots of trees, no neighbors, lots of grass.
I drove up and Diane and Lucha came out to greet me. Now here's the really weird thing....Lucha had bright pink & green tortoise-shell (like a cat) markings on her. I was surprised to see how bright they were...almost neon......because when she'd been my foster her green and pink markings had been very pale. In the dream, it seemed completely natural that she was marked this way, and I commented that she must be super healthy for them to be so bright. (I told you this dream was weird!)
Diane and I went inside her house to have coffee and when I sat down Lucha jumped right up on my lap and looked at me very intently. I told Diane, "I think she really & truly remembers me, even though it's been years since we've seen each other!" I remember feeling very happy that Lucha remembered me as I hugged her and fussed over her.
I can remember wanting to reach across the table where we were having coffee to take Diane's hand and tell her everything that was pent up inside of me about Muddy Paws and the deaths, but I just couldn't quite bring myself to do it. I was too afraid that I would start to cry or get angry.
In the dream at this point, it was 12:50 p.m. and Diane said that Tyler would be getting home at 1:00...the school bus dropped him off at the end of their rural driveway. I stayed long enough to see Tyler walking up the driveway and as he got closer I realized that I didn't recognize him. It was not the same child that I knew before.
and then, I either woke up or switched to my other weird dream that I had last night.
Not sure what it all means, or if it means anything at all.
In the dream, I drove somewhere to visit Diane, Lucha, & Tyler. I was so excited to see them. It was like most dreams...they lived in Chicago yet they really didn't. The house/business was the same yet it really wasn't. Some things were familiar, some weren't. The place they lived was rural instead of in the city....lots of trees, no neighbors, lots of grass.
I drove up and Diane and Lucha came out to greet me. Now here's the really weird thing....Lucha had bright pink & green tortoise-shell (like a cat) markings on her. I was surprised to see how bright they were...almost neon......because when she'd been my foster her green and pink markings had been very pale. In the dream, it seemed completely natural that she was marked this way, and I commented that she must be super healthy for them to be so bright. (I told you this dream was weird!)
Diane and I went inside her house to have coffee and when I sat down Lucha jumped right up on my lap and looked at me very intently. I told Diane, "I think she really & truly remembers me, even though it's been years since we've seen each other!" I remember feeling very happy that Lucha remembered me as I hugged her and fussed over her.
I can remember wanting to reach across the table where we were having coffee to take Diane's hand and tell her everything that was pent up inside of me about Muddy Paws and the deaths, but I just couldn't quite bring myself to do it. I was too afraid that I would start to cry or get angry.
In the dream at this point, it was 12:50 p.m. and Diane said that Tyler would be getting home at 1:00...the school bus dropped him off at the end of their rural driveway. I stayed long enough to see Tyler walking up the driveway and as he got closer I realized that I didn't recognize him. It was not the same child that I knew before.
and then, I either woke up or switched to my other weird dream that I had last night.
Not sure what it all means, or if it means anything at all.
Friday, September 9, 2011
To all of you who care about animals....
Reading the paper this morning....article about several people in New York who lost friends in the 9/11 attack. They get together once a month to remember their friends, and they give to various foundations established to honor the victims.
Here's a small portion of the article:
"Forgetting has always been my biggest worry, not being able to remember those people. And it happens. Life moves on," Joe says. He paraphrases the Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal on his duty to the dead: "When I face those people on my day, I want them to know I didn't forget."
I will never forget Lucha nor all the others who died at Muddy Paws. I already give to animals by contributions of money and fostering.
Will you do the same? If you can't foster, then TODAY, give $20 or whatever you can afford, to the nearest rescue.
Educate people to always adopt, never buy.
Don't let your pets reproduce.
If you even SUSPECT cruelty to an animal, report it, and FOLLOW UP. Make sure it is properly investigated and prosecuted.
Here's a small portion of the article:
"Forgetting has always been my biggest worry, not being able to remember those people. And it happens. Life moves on," Joe says. He paraphrases the Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal on his duty to the dead: "When I face those people on my day, I want them to know I didn't forget."
I will never forget Lucha nor all the others who died at Muddy Paws. I already give to animals by contributions of money and fostering.
Will you do the same? If you can't foster, then TODAY, give $20 or whatever you can afford, to the nearest rescue.
Educate people to always adopt, never buy.
Don't let your pets reproduce.
If you even SUSPECT cruelty to an animal, report it, and FOLLOW UP. Make sure it is properly investigated and prosecuted.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Do I hate Diane?
Yesterday, Diane Eldrup's attorney accused me of having no compassion. Sorry, Mr. Curnyn, but you don't know me.
Yes, I do have compassion for Diane.
Several people have asked me over the last several days if I hate Diane for what she did. And I've always answered that I don't hate Diane but I hate what she did.
Seems like a pat answer doesn't it? A little PollyAnna-ish?
Yes, it does, and I've really done some thinking about this tonight while waiting for the verdict.
I do hate what Diane did. I hate anything to do with the suffering of children, animals, anything and anybody. Was Diane out of her head when she did systematically starved these animals to death?
She must have been....how else could someone do this?
But again, am I being a bit naive? Of course people are intentionally cruel every day, to every kind of living thing. Am I just trying to say the right thing?
As those 48 GUILTYs were read tonight, I felt a sense of justice for the dogs that died...and let's not forget that approximately 35 dogs died at Muddy Paws, not just the 18 she was charged with. But I also felt the pain that would strike a mother's heart as each GUILTY made it more real that she would not be able to see her child for many years while she was in prison.
So, is it hate I feel?
No.
I just feel sorry. Sorry for Diane. Sorry for what she did. And so so sorry for her little boy.
Yes, I do have compassion for Diane.
Several people have asked me over the last several days if I hate Diane for what she did. And I've always answered that I don't hate Diane but I hate what she did.
Seems like a pat answer doesn't it? A little PollyAnna-ish?
Yes, it does, and I've really done some thinking about this tonight while waiting for the verdict.
I do hate what Diane did. I hate anything to do with the suffering of children, animals, anything and anybody. Was Diane out of her head when she did systematically starved these animals to death?
She must have been....how else could someone do this?
But again, am I being a bit naive? Of course people are intentionally cruel every day, to every kind of living thing. Am I just trying to say the right thing?
As those 48 GUILTYs were read tonight, I felt a sense of justice for the dogs that died...and let's not forget that approximately 35 dogs died at Muddy Paws, not just the 18 she was charged with. But I also felt the pain that would strike a mother's heart as each GUILTY made it more real that she would not be able to see her child for many years while she was in prison.
So, is it hate I feel?
No.
I just feel sorry. Sorry for Diane. Sorry for what she did. And so so sorry for her little boy.
GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES
it's after 11 and I'm finally back at the hotel. The verdict came in just before 10 tonight: Guilty on all charges.
She was charged with 3 things for each of the 18 dogs: animal cruelty (a misdemeanor), aggravated animal cruelty (a felony) and aggravated animal torture (also a felony). Every GUILTY was read off for each of the 18 dogs.....we heard GUILTY 54 times, one right after the other.
At last, these poor babies can truly rest in peace. They are rejoicing tonight at Rainbow Bridge that the 12 members of the jury recognized that their lives were worth something, that they were living feeling beings, not "just a dog".
so many animal advocates were there tonight.....the spectators were about 2/3 animal advocates (rescuers, animal control wardens, humane investigators) and 1/3 press. This is a huge case decision....what a statement this makes about the treatment of animals. These dogs suffered horribly and for a very long time. I'm not going to go into details here right now, but I finally ate my first meal of the week tonight. The testimony (and remember, I didn't look at the pictures or the videos) has made me so sick, my stomach clenched into a knot, that breakfast has been coffee, lunch has been milk, and supper ordered but only picked at. Teri, thank you for taking me to supper.
Sentencing has been scheduled for Oct. 18. I hope to come back for that. During sentencing, the prosecution will be able to have witnesses testify to things like identifying before and after pictures of the dogs, etc. That will really be Lucha's day in court.
She was charged with 3 things for each of the 18 dogs: animal cruelty (a misdemeanor), aggravated animal cruelty (a felony) and aggravated animal torture (also a felony). Every GUILTY was read off for each of the 18 dogs.....we heard GUILTY 54 times, one right after the other.
At last, these poor babies can truly rest in peace. They are rejoicing tonight at Rainbow Bridge that the 12 members of the jury recognized that their lives were worth something, that they were living feeling beings, not "just a dog".
so many animal advocates were there tonight.....the spectators were about 2/3 animal advocates (rescuers, animal control wardens, humane investigators) and 1/3 press. This is a huge case decision....what a statement this makes about the treatment of animals. These dogs suffered horribly and for a very long time. I'm not going to go into details here right now, but I finally ate my first meal of the week tonight. The testimony (and remember, I didn't look at the pictures or the videos) has made me so sick, my stomach clenched into a knot, that breakfast has been coffee, lunch has been milk, and supper ordered but only picked at. Teri, thank you for taking me to supper.
Sentencing has been scheduled for Oct. 18. I hope to come back for that. During sentencing, the prosecution will be able to have witnesses testify to things like identifying before and after pictures of the dogs, etc. That will really be Lucha's day in court.
verdict may be close
sorry to anyone who has been trying to reach me. trial concluded at 5:30, and jury sent to deliberations at 6:00. i have ZERO cell phone reception within 3 blocks of this courthouse!!!!
we're all back at the court room...no laptops allowed in courtroom, so I'm right outside the door. jury has asked a question of the judge, which some believe to be a sign that a verdict is close, and in fact may be reached this evening. It's 8:17 p.m. stay tuned.
we're all back at the court room...no laptops allowed in courtroom, so I'm right outside the door. jury has asked a question of the judge, which some believe to be a sign that a verdict is close, and in fact may be reached this evening. It's 8:17 p.m. stay tuned.
cathartic afternoon
Both the defense and the prosecution have rested now....both sides are conferring with the judge about what instructions will be given to the jury.
To the amazement of all, the defense put Diane on the stand. The prosecution simply ate her alive, pounding away at her by showing pictures of dead dogs and asking her What was this dog's name? When did it die? to which she softly and tearfully responded, "I don't know."
over and over and over.
until suddenly the prosecution showed a picture of a few bones laying outside her son's bedroom and asked "Isn't this Lucha, Ms. Eldrup?"
I put my glasses back on at the point. I've taken them off whenever pictures and videos of the death & destruction at Muddy Paws have been shown, but at that point, I put them on. I wanted & needed to see what was left of Lucha.
So I looked.
You couldn't tell that a dog's body had disintegrated in that spot....there was nothing really there. Kim had told me that months ago, but for some reason I needed to look.
Diane, sobbing on the stand, said that Lucha had been having seizures and had died in her arms. I just lost it at that point. oh, god, I hope that it's true. I hope that Lucha did not die of starvation and neglect like all the others. I hope she died in the arms of someone she loved.
To the amazement of all, the defense put Diane on the stand. The prosecution simply ate her alive, pounding away at her by showing pictures of dead dogs and asking her What was this dog's name? When did it die? to which she softly and tearfully responded, "I don't know."
over and over and over.
until suddenly the prosecution showed a picture of a few bones laying outside her son's bedroom and asked "Isn't this Lucha, Ms. Eldrup?"
I put my glasses back on at the point. I've taken them off whenever pictures and videos of the death & destruction at Muddy Paws have been shown, but at that point, I put them on. I wanted & needed to see what was left of Lucha.
So I looked.
You couldn't tell that a dog's body had disintegrated in that spot....there was nothing really there. Kim had told me that months ago, but for some reason I needed to look.
Diane, sobbing on the stand, said that Lucha had been having seizures and had died in her arms. I just lost it at that point. oh, god, I hope that it's true. I hope that Lucha did not die of starvation and neglect like all the others. I hope she died in the arms of someone she loved.
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